Finding Your Voice: How the Empty Chair Exercise Helps You Heal
Have you ever walked away from a conversation replaying what you wish you had said? Or carried around unspoken pain from a past relationship, a loss, or a self-judgment that you can’t seem to shake? The Empty Chair Exercise is a powerful therapeutic technique that gives those thoughts and feelings a place to land—and a path toward healing. Used in many forms of psychotherapy, especially Gestalt Therapy, the Empty Chair Exercise creates an opportunity to express the unsaid, resolve internal conflicts, and deepen self-awareness. You can also practice this tool on your own.
The Empty Chair Exercise involves placing an actual empty chair in front of you and imagining that someone—or some part of yourself—is sitting there. That “someone” might be:
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A person from your past or present (a parent, friend, partner, or even someone who’s passed away)
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A part of yourself (your inner critic, wounded child, future self, or a decision you need to make)
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A concept or force (grief, anger, fear, a “should,” a dream)
You then speak directly to that imagined presence. And, when ready, you switch seats and speak as that person or part of yourself, responding to what was just said.
Yes, it may sound a little strange at first—but that’s okay. Therapy is about connecting with your truth --- and this exercise creates a structured, safe space to do just that. The power of the Empty Chair Exercise lies in what psychologists call experiential processing. Instead of just thinking or talking about your problems, you step into them—body, mind, and emotion.
Here’s a typical flow of the exercise:
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Setting the Stage: You and your therapist (or you alone in a private space) choose a person, part of yourself, or issue you’d like to address.
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Dialogue Begins: You sit in your own chair and speak directly to the imagined person in the empty chair. This could include venting anger, expressing love, sharing a regret, or asking a question.
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Switching Roles: You move to the empty chair and speak from that person’s or part’s point of view, (it's very helpful to meditate and stay calm in this to tap into the unconscious), responding to what you just heard. This role-play helps uncover thoughts, feelings, and beliefs that may be hidden.
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Back and Forth: The dialogue continues as needed, often with you switching between the two chairs to develop insight, release emotion, and reach resolution or clarity.
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Reflection: After the exercise, time is set aside to process the experience—how it felt, what came up, and what it means for your healing.
The Empty Chair Exercise can be adapted to a wide range of emotional and psychological concerns. It’s commonly used for:
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Unresolved grief (e.g., saying goodbye, asking questions, expressing anger at someone who has died)
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Relationship wounds (e.g., confronting a hurtful friend or parent, or forgiving someone)
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Self-criticism and shame (e.g., talking to your inner critic or building self-compassion)
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Decision-making (e.g., giving voice to different options or parts of yourself)
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Trauma recovery (e.g., reclaiming power, speaking to a past abuser in a safe, symbolic way)
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Anxiety and depression (e.g., identifying and challenging internalized beliefs)
This exercise often changes your relationship with pain, drawing you closer into the messenger aspect of what pain has to say: the words and emotions locked inside, and identities denied a voice are gently brought into the light. Imagine someone named Malik who struggles with severe self-criticism. During therapy, Malik places their inner critic in the empty chair.
From their own seat, Malik says:
"You never let up. Nothing I do is good enough for you. You make me feel like I’m always failing."
Then, switching chairs and stepping into the voice of the inner critic, Malik replies:
"I just want you to be better. If I push you hard enough, maybe you won’t get hurt or rejected."
This back-and-forth reveals that the inner critic isn’t just cruel—it’s also scared. By voicing both sides, Malik begins to understand where the criticism comes from and how to develop a more compassionate internal dialogue. Several psychological principles explain the effectiveness of the Empty Chair Exercise:
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Projection: It externalizes internal conflicts, making them easier to observe and work through.
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Cognitive and emotional integration: You’re engaging both thoughts and emotions, promoting holistic healing.
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Embodiment: Physically switching chairs helps you access different perspectives and emotional states.
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Empathy and insight: Role-playing as another person allows you to experience their point of view, even if it’s imagined.
Research shows that expressive techniques like this can lead to emotional catharsis, improved emotional regulation, and reduced psychological distress. In essence, giving your pain a voice allows it to evolve.
Trying It Yourself (With Care)
The Empty Chair Exercise can be tried on your own. Here’s a simple structure to follow:
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Choose a safe, private space where you can sit undisturbed.
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Set up two chairs, facing each other.
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Identify who or what you want to speak to.
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Begin the dialogue, letting yourself speak freely.
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Switch chairs when you’re ready to respond as the other person or part.
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Repeat and reflect, journaling or talking to a trusted friend if helpful.
Some tips:
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Let yourself feel, even if it’s awkward.
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Don’t worry about “doing it right.”
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Be kind to yourself—it can be emotional.
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Stop if it feels too overwhelming, and consider seeking support.
At its heart, the Empty Chair Exercise is not about theatrics. It’s about truth. It’s a space where things long buried can be unearthed, heard, and honored. It’s where healing conversations can finally happen—even if the other person isn’t physically there, or if the dialogue is with a part of yourself you've silenced for too long. In a world that often urges us to suppress or ignore our pain, this exercise offers something different: permission.